1 Kings 19:4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”
An old friend came to visit the other day. We go way back, actually from childhood. Probably the most unattractive and unlikeable friend I have, she’s hard to shake off. In fact, once I open the door to her persistent knock, I find myself powerless to get her to leave. Maybe you know her, too. She goes by the name of Self Pity.
If it weren’t for Jesus, I would remain stuck in this relationship, letting it suck me dry. Believing the lie that I have nothing, that I am nothing. Jesus reminds me he is Jehovah Jireh, the provider of all that I need. I don’t have to reel under feelings of not measuring up because he is enough. He gives me enough grace to shake off Self Pity’s grip. Enough strength to tear my eyes away from myself and fix them somewhere else.
Every time Self Pity immobilizes me, Jesus mobilizes me. Rather than isolating myself like a little kid disciplined in time-out, Jesus’ sweet voice says, “Stop wallowing.” When Self Pity tries to freeze me in the moment; Jesus, more often than not, directs me to serve someone. Nothing dispels the notion of feeling depleted more than giving when you think you have nothing anyone would want.
Elijah was no stranger to Self Pity. After his momentous victory against the prophets of Baal, Jezebel’s threats overwhelmed him (1 Kings 18). I can easily imagine Self Pity’s deceptive whispers. You may have won this battle, but you can’t win the war. Your life’s work is worthless. You might as well hang it up now before you face more humiliation.
Elijah succumbed to the lies. He told God he’d “had enough,” just let him die. Elijah forgot who Jehovah Jireh was. God’s very name testifies to his ability of providing all we need in every circumstance we face. God gave Elijah enough grace and strength to complete the work he had called him to do. He will do the same for each of us.
And any voice that tells you otherwise is a very bad friend.