Proverbs 18:19 “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.” [ESV]
We have become an offended people, haven’t we? Jesus warned it’s impossible to live in a fallen world without encountering offenses (Luke 17:1). We fail to meet others’ expectations; they don’t meet ours. We get hurt; we hurt others. It doesn’t take much to rouse our suspicions and divisions, especially if past wounds lay dormant.
It’s been over 50 years since a friend of mine served in Viet Nam and he still occasionally reacts when he unexpectedly comes upon something that looks “unusual” in a field or the woods. His reaction stems from seeing the consequences of hidden land mines taking their toll on unsuspecting soldiers. Our emotional landscape works much the same way. For example, a relationship explodes in front of us, and we find it difficult to trust again. We parse our words and withhold our feelings for fear of stepping on another hidden explosive device, an IED of offense, if you will.
John Bevere, in his bestselling book, The Bait of Satan, describes offenses as being a way Satan traps us into becoming unforgiving, grudge-bearing people who bear little resemblance to Jesus. He writes how those who consume offenses eventually produce the fruit of “anger, jealousy, resentment, strife, bitterness and hatred.” Nothing beautiful or valuable results from the enemy’s scheme against us.
So how do we deal with the “O” word? And how do we protect ourselves from ingesting its deadly venom?
Spit out the bait! Choose not to dwell on the offense, whether that offense is directed toward you or toward someone you love. Lay your hurts and judgments at the feet of Jesus. No greater offense exists than the offense of the cross (Galatians 5:11). Yet Jesus overcame and he promises to help us overcome as well.
Scripture compares an offended brother to an impenetrable city. He stays locked behind his perceptions and refuses any input that differs with his reasons for perpetuating his offended status. Don’t be that person. Ask God to help you listen to the other side. It takes humility. Vulnerability. Courage. But the consequences of letting the “O” word destroy us could not be more deadly.
Let’s trade the “O” word for the “T” word…. Trust Jesus!