“Don’t let us blow it Lord!” How many times I’ve whispered that desperate prayer! I doubt I’m alone. Those of us who are believers in Christ want, perhaps more than anything, to be found faithful in the hour of testing. We don’t want to let God down. We don’t want to stop trusting him when a crisis threatens to undo us. As Edith Schaeffer writes, we hope in those times our love for God will prove to be “solid oak, not a thin veneer.” Whether we face a life-threatening diagnosis or a sword that calls us to martyrdom, we want the grace and peace of our Savior to be revealed, not some half-hearted acquiescence to our sinful nature.
I find myself praying “Don’t let me blow it” whenever I’m faced with making decisions I consider above my pay grade. Like when we brought my mother home to care for her in the final days before she died. I became acutely aware of my inadequacies. Am I getting her medications right? Is she getting enough oxygen? Would she be better off in the hospital? I wanted to be a help, not a hindrance, as she finished the last miles of her race. Could I sacrifice enough? Could I comfort enough? Could I maintain her dignity as her body grew weaker and weaker? Could I keep trusting God to finish His work in His child?
“Don’t let me blow it Lord!”
Inevitably, I made mistakes. At times I surrendered to fear and doubt. But you know what I discovered? God covered me. The God whose strength is made perfect in my weakness had my back. He knew where I would fall short, and at the same time, he knew my prayerful cry. He knew all this before the foundation of the universe and wove it into the tapestry of Mom’s life…and of mine.
I am human. So are you. We inevitably will blow it. So although it’s good to ask for God’s help in not messing up, our ultimate hope lies in redemption, not perfection. I like how Bob Goff puts it. He sees the book of life “about people trying to follow Jesus….People who make lots of mistakes [but] who stay within the large circle of His love and grace…pointing toward Him.”